wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
