he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize