I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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