ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Life is so much better after having sex.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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