omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
