Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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