so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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