They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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