They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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