my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
