Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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