and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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