he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
