I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
