hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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