Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
