Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
