You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
