I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
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I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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