Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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