I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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