I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize