Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
