I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
