...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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