Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
