finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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