i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
