i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
