True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
BRING THE BAGELS
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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