You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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