My first STD was from a foam party
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
