What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
