We're facebook friends in real life
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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