I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
