dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm too high and old for this...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
