im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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