Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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