If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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