I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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