Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Yes.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

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  (612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!! (763): Yes. (612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria http://tfl.nu/wx8p
  Replies (37) Good night (4747) Bad night (962)
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  (858): View more from California

  i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals

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  (858): i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals http://tfl.nu/45ft
  Replies (6) Good night (2586) Bad night (749)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever

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  (225): were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever http://tfl.nu/h34v
  Replies (30) Good night (6332) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

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  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (97) Good night (4561) Bad night (10065)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

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  (703): Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge. http://tfl.nu/8cnn
  Replies (4) Good night (3070) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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  (248): Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor. http://tfl.nu/dwej
  Replies (1) Good night (2523) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

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  (305): he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad. http://tfl.nu/2uqd
  Replies (7) Good night (2135) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

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  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (485) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?

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  (859): Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record? http://tfl.nu/se6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.

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  (617): We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this. http://tfl.nu/dyzt
  Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

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  (202): I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control. http://tfl.nu/1mo8
  Replies (0) Good night (1000) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.

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  (305): Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem. http://tfl.nu/qcsf
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.

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  (304): You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is. http://tfl.nu/wiqy
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?

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  (519): You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!? http://tfl.nu/kwzr
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (263)

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