Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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(970): View more from Colorado

At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

It's never too late to be topless.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.

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(712): View more from Iowa

You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

(712): View more from Iowa

On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

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(720): View more from Colorado

If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.

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(786): View more from Florida

Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?

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