Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.

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  (413): she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman. http://tfl.nu/lb9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1196) Bad night (4542)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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  (641): Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon. http://tfl.nu/inm7
  Replies (41) Good night (9469) Bad night (1617)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4434) Bad night (696)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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  (781): I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing. http://tfl.nu/7fgj
  Replies (17) Good night (5922) Bad night (1372)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

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  (864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job. http://tfl.nu/97jt
  Replies (18) Good night (8203) Bad night (1958)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?

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  (541): Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night? http://tfl.nu/53hk
  Replies (7) Good night (3897) Bad night (963)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.

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  (708): Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail. http://tfl.nu/vicx
  Replies (6) Good night (2622) Bad night (1052)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too

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  (623): Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too http://tfl.nu/3dvb
  Replies (20) Good night (1735) Bad night (651)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

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  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1363) Bad night (494)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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  (919): I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright? http://tfl.nu/bgy5
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (412)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

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  (919): You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced http://tfl.nu/qaoy
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (402)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.

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  (720): I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/9e16
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (254)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have poison ivy on my dick

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  WHAT

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  (870): I have poison ivy on my dick (1-870): WHAT http://tfl.nu/5c6b
  Replies (8) Good night (355) Bad night (844)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!

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  (630): I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend. (419): You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED! http://tfl.nu/6dil
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (478)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere

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  (253): First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere http://tfl.nu/66bl
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (333)

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