Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

(831): View more from California

Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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(801): View more from Utah

we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious

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(443): View more from Maryland

When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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(858): View more from California

I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs

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(510): View more from California

I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.

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