Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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