marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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