my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize