I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize