Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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