Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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