one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
