Already got asked if we're dating
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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