just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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