ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
