So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
