If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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