Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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