Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize