your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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