I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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