There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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