New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
