Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
